Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm passing your future prison.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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