you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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