I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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