i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
