Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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