Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
