ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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