It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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