How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i think my cat just said my name.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
