She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The struggles of a small town man whore
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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