You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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