I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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