just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
