And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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