I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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