god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
This is my gift to your gina
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
