just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Let's get the cat blown out
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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