i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
