guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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