oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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