I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
