Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
