in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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