Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
