is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
