So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
