The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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