Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
