While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
