i jhust puked up my retainher.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
