Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
