Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
