Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i think i have two assholes
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
