if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
