Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize