you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize