You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I did not marry a roomba.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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