he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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