What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
