Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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