Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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