It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
