Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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