You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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