On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She tied me up with her honor cords...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
