Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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