There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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