Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
