My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
