summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
