Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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