My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize