Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
