is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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