Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
