weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
