My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
