you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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