I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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