shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You're a waste of cheezeits
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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