my mouth tastes like poor choices
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
