so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
